Cosplay - Lucinda Price

Hi All!

So today I decided that a great method of further procrastination from my studies would be to shoot some "Cosplay" portraits. Now I always thought that cosplay was some anime thing (apologies to all anime or just all-rounder fangirls), however I have recently learnt that Cosplay is just dressing up as a character - be it from a novel or anime or film, etc. I decided to dress as my favourite character ever, Lucinda Price from Lauren Kate's "Fallen" Saga. I already had the dress used on the cover of the novels made for my ball earlier in the year, so it was a perfect opportunity. Anyway, here are the pics and I hope you like them! I enjoyed doing this, so I think I'll venture out a little more and do it again sometime! House of Night, anyone?

Vanilla!
- Nik xx

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I have a problem...

The first step to recovering from any illness is to admit that you have a problem, and I think it is time I finally did that.

Hello, my name is Nikola, and I have a problem

(echoed replies of anonymous sufferers in the room "Hello Nikola")

I don't understand how it happened, but today I realised that it has finally come to the point of being problematic and I need to find help.

I'm a stationary hoarder.

And not in the "I went around my house and found all the pens I could and stuffed them in a pencil-case" type of border. The "I was studying for my exams and emptied my pencil case to find something and realised I have a a gazillion highlighters".

Now I'm known for being a little OCD with highlighting everything, I think it makes it look pretty and even though the end result provides no substantial help to my memorisation of notes whatsoever, the initial action of dragging this colourful texter that still leaves the words visible across the page gives me a high level of satisfaction.
And everyone has the stack of 4 or 5 different types of highlighters, but when it gets to the point where you literally have 3 types of highlighters in the SAME colour for 5 colours, with one packet still UNOPENED, you begin to understand that the "preparation for exam" collection has transferred into the "obsessively buying because I can" collection.

And the pens! It's the same with that too, there's the packs of ten that I have YET TO OPEN whilst 20 more are sitting in my pencil case of all shapes and sizes! It's the same thing, I think I'm going to run out so I buy some more JUST INCASE I happen to lose twenty pens in the next 48 hours, and I repeat this until my whole breakfast bar can be covered in them.

So if anyone knows of any hoarders anonymous groups I can go to, the help would be thoroughly appreciated.

Accumulation (the acquisition or gradual gathering of something)

Nik xx

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Existential Crisis/Complaining about Life

It is currently 9:22pm on the sunday before my first last exam ever and I'm having the biggest existential crisis of my life, so I thought, what better way to deal with my overwhelming flood of emotions than to open up the old macbook and type away.

For those of you who may not know, an 'existential crisis' is a moment where you reach the point in your life where you start to really question your existence. And no, not in a "why am I alive I want to kill myself my life is useless" kind of way, in a "why do humans exist...why do I bother studying for an exam when I'm going to die one day anyway."

My current questions follow the following kind of stream.

Why am I bothering to post blogs and try to make youtube videos and promote my fallen instagram when everybody has done it and continues to do it and I'm but a spec of dust on a spec of dust in the entirety of the world. Yes, it's to express myself and have somewhere where I can escape to (like right now) and share my opinions of the world, but why bother? No-one bloody well reads this crap anyway and there are plenty of bloggers who have successful fan-bases...why should I get lucky enough to rise above and become like them?

Why do I bother buying expensive makeup and worrying about clothes and finding decorative things for my room to photograph? Like, seriously? Everyone has a face, why do we bother covering it up with expensive chemicals? Yes, it's creative and fun and what-not, but god I would save SO MUCH MONEY PAINTING A DAMN PICTURE RATHER THAN MY SKIN. And like I'm ever going to be up to date on the latest fashions, they change so much that I only just got a pair of boyfriend jeans the other day. The. Other. Day. Everyone has legs, everyone has a torso, and MY GOD every woman has boobs why is it so socially unacceptable to let them be free instead of paying fifty dollars for a fucking padded piece of material. Seriously I could sew the shit together my self.

And finally, the big one that is haunting my mind right this second, and will continue to be on my mind over the course of the next two months until the day I complete my last one...

Why do I even bother with exams? In the short term aspect of things, I'm likely to be able to average all around and get the ATAR I need to get into the courses I want anyway, so why the hell do I even bother trying to do well? As the saying goes, "C's get degrees". A's get a lifetime spot in your heart, and not the "wow, look how well I did" place, the "I tried way too hard at life" place. I'm very aware that currently, the smarter students who understand everything yet still study for hours on end, are studying right now, trying to cram as many quotes from Shakespeare and conventions of visual texts in there head before "the big day". Yeah, the big day of 10 other big days I have to go through. So they're doing that, while I am literally sitting here in bed with my computer on my knees typing about how un-phased I am about whether or not I pass or fail this exam. Normally I'm pretty hard on myself with grades. I'm not one of the kids who gets things easily or can bear to study for more than an hour a day. I have to work hard to get around 70's and 80's, however right now I couldn't care less if I got a 50 or less.

I realise I have turned this post into more of a "let's complain about the universe", but I do believe I make extremely valid points.

Mise En Scene (the term for what is literally right in front of you)

Nik xx

(P.S. I apologise for the lack of effort in the introductory artwork, I did not feel like getting out of bed, walking to the study, taking some inspirational picture of confusion, loading it onto my laptop, editing it, and uploading it at what is now 9:42pm. Have this question mark instead...)

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Procrastination

We all do it. And we all procrastinate doing it. There is something sitting there, be it in our home, or at work, or even something in our minds, and the more you think about doing it, the further away you stray from actually completing the task at hand. I made this revelation today whilst making a cup of coffee to put off cleaning my room to put off studying for my exams. Being my last year of high school, these exams are pretty important, counting for my ATAR grade to get myself into University. Obviously no-one likes to study, and the more you sit there staring at your books, the bigger the urge to scrub your toilet until it shines.

But can procrastination be a good thing? Let's face it, I would never wave the duster around the house voluntarily unless I had something worse to be doing. I make the excuse that although I am not doing the most productive thing I could be, I'm still contributing to my household maintenance, and therefore it's okay. And sometimes it is. Procrastination provides a prime opportunity to get the thing you were procrastinating from before, done. You were watching youtube videos whilst you should have been cleaning the house, therefore it never got done. You are now cleaning the house whilst you should be studying. The way I see it, it's the circle of procrastination. Everything will get done...eventually.

I have to admit, I'm a stress head. If I walk into an exam with the knowledge of a goldfish I tend to just sit at my desk and have a little sob. Not understanding is probably one of my biggest peeves and fears, even if I don't want to understand. Like, why is it so important that I know porous water-saturated layers of underground rock are known as aquifers, or that Tsar Nicholas II abdicated the throne due to failure in maintaining his promises to the peasants of Russia?
"Mummy, how are saltwater fish different than freshwater fish?"
"Well you see Timmy, saltwater fish pee salty wee, and freshwater fish pee normal wee, because the saltwater fish absorbs the water whereas the freshwater fish breathes it in and out"
Yes, thank you science, I can totally see myself having this conversation in 10 years. But that doesn't mean I'm totally cool with seeing a question that may as well be written in Japanese and worth 20 marks, and not knowing how to put pen to paper. So I know the importance - not just to my grades, but to my overall level of sanity - of having to study for an exam. I just tend to ignore it and continue watching Dan Howell videos about how he lost his hamster.

I think this blog post pretty much sums up my level of procrastination, as I am literally sitting right next to my books, while continuing to upload something no-one reads that started off at procrastination station anyway. I'm just that passionate about doing absolutely anything to avoid the most important things in life.

Dessiccation! (The stress of water over a prolonged period of time)

Nik xx

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Hello!

Hi There!

So I'm one of those people who constantly have thoughts running through their mind and find there are just not enough people in my life to entertain with these thoughts, so here I am starting a blog. Now I know blogs and vlogs are extremely popular these days with millions of different YouTube channels and even more written blogs, however I feel as if this is a place I can express my thoughts and opinions, and I am doing so to get them out of my head rather than to try and entertain.

I obsess over three main things in life; Beauty, Books and random Babble that I find myself doing in my head (although this might not be an obsession...more of a clinical illness?).

I love experimenting with makeup and fashion, and am always looking for new things to decorate my room with such as photography collages (another favourite thing of mine), cute little decor things, and fairy lights. Lots and lots of fairy lights. One time when I was younger, myself and a friend who was over wanted to make my normal bedroom lights colourful, so we of course chose the most creative and - at the time - obviously safe thing we could think of, and put coloured paper over the lights. Coloured. Paper. Obviously when we came back to the room 20 minutes later we could smell burning, and the paper was all burnt and smoke was coming from the lights. So if you ever need someone to decor your house...don't choose me. Wow, I'm trying to express how I love interior design and so far I've only expressed how dangerous of a person I am at it...moving on.

I'm a nerd. I just thought I'd put that out there to be clear. I'm not one of the gamer nerds who knows all the cheats to COD or can kill an enemy with a combat move so quick it seems I'm supernatural..I just read. And write. A lot. Books, for me, are a way of escaping the real world and entering a fantasy just for a little while...until it turns into a long while...and suddenly you're only occupation during the day is immersing yourself in these fictional stories which raise your expectations of life in general; boys, popularity, angels descending from heaven and telling you people have been searching for you for millions of years...You know, the norm.
Speaking of books and angels, it might also be worth mentioning that I run an instragram dedicated to one particular book series, the Fallen series by Lauren Kate, soon to be a film in 2015! If you want to check our little fandom out there, we're at @fallenofficialhq. I'm currently doing a giveaway for a signed shirt by the author so look out for that!

As you may have already assumed, I also tend to affiliate myself with babble. I try to express my opinion on something and I end up going off on a tangent about how the world will end. But if you would like to continue reading my babble, I will be uploading whenever I feel like it so don't look out for me but check up occasionally.

Oh, and one more thing, I started a novel way back when called "The Beauty's Saviour", which I haven't updated in a while so it's pretty poor quality and unfinished with no real plot, however once I finish my exams (currently being in year 12...you just cry. Every. Single. Day.) I will endeavour to edit and finish this story for the universe's eyes.

Aloe Vera!
(I tried to think of something quirky for an ending and found myself looking at a tissue box for ten minutes)

Nik x

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